Monday, December 12, 2011

A Year's Worth of Facebook Updates: Ayn Rand Edition

I view teaching at a community college as performing in the borscht belt of academia and have long considered my job to be “standup historian.” I post most of my jokes on Facebook. I like doing comedy online because it’s harder for the audience to throw things at you. Since it’s the end of the year, I’m going to be posing a year’s worth of my Facebook updates by theme. Today l look back on what I said about the Tea Party and the Ayn Rand-inspired dreams for the future embraced by many Republicans.

I propose a Constitutional amendment that the President and the Congress in the future will be prohibited from sending troops to any country that Tea Party members can't find on a map.

To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, "The Lord must have loved greedy bastards, he made so many of them."

Headline of the Future: Business Lays Off Last American Worker, Congress Extends Bush Tax Cuts

I now understand what the media types and D.C. politicians mean by 'shared sacrifice.' They want the burden of balancing the budget to be shared by both the poor and the struggling.

Since corporations are people and they are definitely a threat to public order and safety, I'm going to try pepper spraying one today.

Well, the deadline regarding the debt ceiling is fast approaching. Michele Bachman said it's the biggest turning point in history since the Romans established Latin America.

I would so love for Paul Ryan to be the GOP nominee for president next year but he's too busy running in the Eddie Munster look-alike competition.

The new "Paul Ryan" action figures trademarked by Mattel include elderly people in wheelchairs with ejector seats.

I'm watching an episode of 'Star Trek: The Next Generation" in which the inhabitants of one planet have to commit suicide when they reach 60. I had no idea Paul Ryan's ideas would enjoy such an enduring impact.

Headline of the Future: In State of the Union Address, President Paul Pledges Return to "Barter Standard."

Ron Paul mentioned Austrian economics. Nothing bad ever came out of Austria, right?

Ron Paul mentioned "Austrian economics." Republican voters said, "You mean that country with the kangaroos?"

Michael Phillips has authored the following:

White Metropolis: Race, Ethnicity and Religion in Dallas, Texas, 1841-2001 (Austin:  University of Texas Press, 2006)

(with Patrick L. Cox) The House Will Come to Order: How the Texas Speaker Became a Power in State and National Politics. (Austin: University of Texas Press, 2010)

“Why Is Big Tex Still a White Cowboy? Race, Gender, and the ‘Other Texans’” in Walter Buenger and Arnoldo de León, eds., Beyond Texas Through Time: Breaking Away From Past Interpretations (College Station: Texas A&M Press, 2011)

“The Current is Stronger’: Images of Racial Oppression and Resistance in North Texas Black Art During the 1920s and 1930s ”  in Bruce A. Glasrud and Cary D. Wintz, eds., The Harlem Renaissance in the West: The New Negroes’ Western Experience (New York: Routledge, Taylor and Francis Group, 2011)

“Dallas, 1989-2011,” in Richardson Dilworth, ed. Cities in American Political History (Washington, D.C.: CQ Press, 2011)

(With John Anthony Moretta, Keith J. Volonto, Austin Allen, Doug Cantrell and Norwood Andrews), Keith J. Volonto and Michael Phillips. eds., The American Challenge: A New History of the United States, Volume I.   (Wheaton, Il.: Abigail Press, 2012).

(With John Anthony Moretta and Keith J. Volanto), Keith J. Volonto and Michael Phillips, eds., The American Challenge: A New History of the United States, Volume II. (Wheaton, Il.: Abigail Press, 2012).

(With John Anthony Moretta and Carl J. Luna), Imperial Presidents: The Rise of Executive Power from Roosevelt to Obama  (Wheaton, Il.: Abigail Press, 2013). 

“Texan by Color: The Racialization of the Lone Star State,” in David Cullen and Kyle Wilkison, eds., The Radical Origins of the Texas Right (College Station: University of Texas Press, 2013).

He is currently collaborating, with longtime journalist Betsy Friauf, on a history of African American culture, politics and black intellectuals in the Lone Star State called God Carved in Night: Black Intellectuals in Texas and the World They Made.

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