Saturday, December 17, 2011

A Year’s Worth of Facebook Updates: “That’s Entertainment” Edition

I view teaching at a community college as performing in the borscht belt of academia and have long considered my job to be “standup historian.” I post most of my jokes on Facebook. I like doing comedy online because it’s harder for the audience to throw things at you. Since it’s the end of the year, I’m going to be posing a year’s worth of my Facebook updates by theme. Today l look back on what I said about celebrities.

I've had lunches that lasted longer than Kim Karashian's marriage.

By the way, at Target I saw a cheap knockoff of the Lady Gaga meat dress. It was made of pickle loaf.

Nancy Grace is going to be in the next season of "Dancing with the Stars." Can you dance and be shrill at the same time?

Wow. It seems like just yesterday when I was ignoring Charles' and Diana's wedding.

The begatting of the next royal heir is now being broadcast on ESPN and the Spice Channel.

I really wish that Michael Jackson's former doctor would be allowed to participate in the Wall Street protests. Maybe then the media would cover them.

Finally, Warren Beatty looks like the dirty old man that was always lurking inside.

Celine Dion makes me want to imitate that Buddhist monk in South Vietnam.

Amazing journalism fact: Justin Beiber told the world his opinions about premarital sex and abortion and these insights were reported around the planet.

Robert Downey -- the Charlie Sheen of the 1990s.

Andy Rooney ended 33 years on "60 Minutes" last night and somewhere in Florida two retirees awoke from a nap to note the event. Then the "60 Minutes" demographic went back to sleep.

Jim Lehrer is retiring from the PBS News Hour because he wants to spend more time being extremely dry with his family.

I still have a book on journalism ethics from my reporter days. In honor of Rupert Murdoch, this weekend I'll burn it.

Charlie Sheen is a birther. That pretty much settles the issue, doesn't it?

In five minutes we can begin enjoying the obsessive coverage of the royal divorce. I bet she wears black.

Michael Phillips has authored the following:

White Metropolis: Race, Ethnicity and Religion in Dallas, Texas, 1841-2001 (Austin:  University of Texas Press, 2006)

(with Patrick L. Cox) The House Will Come to Order: How the Texas Speaker Became a Power in State and National Politics. (Austin: University of Texas Press, 2010)

“Why Is Big Tex Still a White Cowboy? Race, Gender, and the ‘Other Texans’” in Walter Buenger and Arnoldo de León, eds., Beyond Texas Through Time: Breaking Away From Past Interpretations (College Station: Texas A&M Press, 2011)

“The Current is Stronger’: Images of Racial Oppression and Resistance in North Texas Black Art During the 1920s and 1930s ”  in Bruce A. Glasrud and Cary D. Wintz, eds., The Harlem Renaissance in the West: The New Negroes’ Western Experience (New York: Routledge, Taylor and Francis Group, 2011)

“Dallas, 1989-2011,” in Richardson Dilworth, ed. Cities in American Political History (Washington, D.C.: CQ Press, 2011)

(With John Anthony Moretta, Keith J. Volonto, Austin Allen, Doug Cantrell and Norwood Andrews), Keith J. Volonto and Michael Phillips. eds., The American Challenge: A New History of the United States, Volume I.   (Wheaton, Il.: Abigail Press, 2012).

(With John Anthony Moretta and Keith J. Volanto), Keith J. Volonto and Michael Phillips, eds., The American Challenge: A New History of the United States, Volume II. (Wheaton, Il.: Abigail Press, 2012).

(With John Anthony Moretta and Carl J. Luna), Imperial Presidents: The Rise of Executive Power from Roosevelt to Obama  (Wheaton, Il.: Abigail Press, 2013). 

“Texan by Color: The Racialization of the Lone Star State,” in David Cullen and Kyle Wilkison, eds., The Radical Origins of the Texas Right (College Station: University of Texas Press, 2013).

He is currently collaborating, with longtime journalist Betsy Friauf, on a history of African American culture, politics and black intellectuals in the Lone Star State called God Carved in Night: Black Intellectuals in Texas and the World They Made.

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